Our hearts are directly influenced by what consumes our minds, which is why we started week 1 focusing on renewing our thoughts. Of all the changes I’ve made in my life, doing the work to transform my heart has been the most significant. I am a better person, sister, daughter, wife, mother and friend as a result of addressing my “heart issues” and allowing God to renew me in His image. This week we’ll focus on transforming our hearts in 5 vital steps.

1. Renew Your Mind

As we discussed in Week 1, your mind and heart are directly connected. Your thoughts tend to influence your heart, and consequently your heart dictates your actions. Once we evaluate our lives and remove anything preventing us from becoming our best selves, we can begin the work it takes to transform our hearts.

Take some time to really think about your circle and your lifestyle to determine what needs to be removed…from relationships to bad habits, even the shows you watch on TV.

It took me a while to realize that I needed to do a better job of guarding my gates (eyes, ears, mouth). What we allow in eventually finds its way out one way or another.

In my early to mid twenties, I didn’t think there was anything wrong with watching shows like Basketball Wives and RHOA.

It took my husband (boyfriend then) encouraging me to see the effect that these reality shows were not only having on me, but our entire generation.

I disagreed and wrote it off as just entertainment for the longest. It wasn’t until I decided to cut them out of my line up and replace them with something more positive that I finally got it.

I can’t tell you how much my life has transformed since I replaced the majority of the time I spent watching TV with sermons, worship music, and motivational speeches or books.

Think of your mind as a map that guides your decisions, and find positive ways to program it so that you’ll be equipped to handle whatever situations arise.

2. Search Your Heart

Every now and then we have to do a heart check to make sure we aren’t harboring unforgiveness or any other feelings that will keep us bound.

One of the toughest parts of my transformation was asking God to show me myself. Not the reflection I saw in the mirror, but the depths of my heart that held onto grudges, lived selfishly, and craved attention for validation.

It was hard to accept what I found, because I lived day in and day out not even realizing most of my issues even existed.

I was broken, and that is exactly where I needed to be in order for God to transform and rebuild me in His image.

I encourage you to be brave enough to search the darkest corners of your heart, and face whatever’s hiding there.

The little girl who was molested and never told a soul, the teen who found validation in worthless guys because her dad wasn’t around, the young lady who drowned herself in credit card debt trying to “look the part”/attract her dream man.

There is no shame in owning that these things have been a part of who you are. After all, if God had not allowed you to go through it, you wouldn’t be able to turn your pain into purpose.

You see, I’ve learned that everything we go through that the enemy meant for evil is turned around and used for God’s glory.

 It’s up to us to decide if we want to let go of our hurt and live victoriously or continue to live with a victim mentality.

3. Cleanse Your Heart

Whew, that was heavy. Now that we’ve searched our hearts and acknowledged our deepest secrets, we can begin to cleanse and transform.

One of my favorite verses that got me through the process (and even now) is “Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10

I would repeat this scripture over and over again several times a day. I wanted so badly to be free that I made a conscious decision daily to let go of the old me, and trust God for renewal.

The more we hide the word of God in our hearts and begin to live by it, the more our lives transform.

One of the greatest challenges I faced was dealing with unforgiveness. I didn’t even realize my dad’s absence after my parents’ divorce was affecting my confidence and relationships.

It was one of those things God revealed to me when I asked Him to show me any and everything about me that wasn’t of Him.

Suddenly it all made sense. My desire for guys to find me attractive, and my disdain when they didn’t pursue me.  I longed for the male attention that I lacked after my dad was no longer in our home.

At one point, I let a complete stranger’s opinion (or lack thereof) affect my confidence. When I began to fall in love and fellowship with my heavenly father, I realized that it wasn’t because I lacked ANYTHING.

In fact, it was the complete opposite. I had a special glow radiating from the inside of me that protected me from guys who meant me no good. They were looking for next best thing, while I was looking for a courtship that would lead to marriage.

I decided to write a letter to my dad to share the feelings that had been bottled up in my heart for years. It was surprisingly very healing, and even if he had never read it or written me back, I would have still forgiven and had closure.

We have a GREAT relationship today, and I know it’s because I chose to transform my heart and allow love to replace the hurt.

It’s so true that forgiveness is for YOU. No matter if you ever get an apology or not, FORGIVE and let go of the chains that are binding you. It felt like a weight lifted from my shoulders after letting it all go, and my life has never been the same!

Ladies, the very thing that you think is the worst part of you is most likely your strongest asset. The enemy wants you to think that you’re unworthy, inadequate, unqualified…

As Sarah Jakes said in one of her messages, if you look in the area of your life where the enemy continuously attacks, your purpose is not far behind.

I said all of that to say that you CAN overcome whatever issues have you bound if you’re willing to do the work.

4. Share the Love

Now that you’ve taken steps to clean up your heart, it’s time to spread the love!

You will literally begin to feel like a new person once you transform your heart. The kind of joy that can’t be contained is the only way I know how to describe it.

I took all those negative characteristics I found about myself and began doing the opposite of what the enemy had convinced me I was.

Selfishness was one of the areas I really wanted to change, so I started making a conscious effort to share with others.

Small things like offering the person next to me a piece of gum or making cookies for friends helped me get in the habit of putting others before myself.

I mentioned in week 1 that I had to learn how to give and receive compliments. Due to my lack of confidence, I had a hard time accepting kind words from people. (something else I discovered during transformation)

I had to learn to simply say, “thank you” instead of rambling on to change the subject. Once I got it down, I had the confidence to give compliments more freely.

Even now, I challenge myself to compliment strangers when I’m out and about. You never know who’s fighting an uphill battle. Your kindness could be the difference between life and death, or simply brightening someone’s day.

There are so many ways to share the love of Christ. The most important thing to remember is that our heart is on display for the world to see in the way we live our lives.

We are not aiming for perfection, because we would fail every time.  If we simply let God’s love fill our hearts, everyone we come in contact with would be blessed by the overflow.

Without a single word, you show the world what His grace looks like in your daily walk. Take it a step further, and trust God to open doors for you to share your gifts with the world.

5. Don’t Give Up

I know I’ve packaged this very tough emotional transformation in a 5 step plan, but it is not to be taken lightly.

If you choose to take this seriously, there will be days you end up on your face either praising God for all He kept you from or brought you through. You’ll find yourself seeking Him for direction, asking for forgiveness, and so much more.

There will be times you wonder if it’s worth it to REALLY change because you’ve become so comfortable in the life you’ve built for yourself.

You will question if you should forgive because the pain is just too great to let go. And let me tell you, the enemy will plant all kinds of doubt in your mind to keep you right where you are.

You become a threat the moment you decide to transform your heart and become the woman you are destined to be!

So please, whatever you do…for the sake of your purpose and all the lives depending on it…DON’T QUIT!

It won’t be an easy process, but God will give you the grace you need to get through it. Change is uncomfortable, and that is exactly where His strength is made perfect…in our weakness.

Now is YOUR time to transform!

Abundant living is on the other side of pain and unforgiveness. Are you ready to transform your heart? Are you willing to do the work?

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