7 Easy Ways to Teach Your Toddler Character

When we become mothers, there are so many things that go through our minds about our little one’s future. How do we make sure we’re raising them to be kind, responsible, confident human beings? Are we doing all we can to make sure they’re prepared to make their mark in the world? I have pondered over all of this and much more when it comes to my three girls. I decided to start doing small things in our daily routine to help shape their character at an early age. Hopefully, these seven steps to teaching your toddler character will be as helpful to you as they’ve been to me.

1. Start teaching manners even before they can talk

I started doing this with my girls when they were only a few months old because I knew that they would understand it eventually, and it would become second nature when they started talking. We are the example that they learn from whether we’re trying to teach them or not. Bless you, please, and thank you are some of the first things my girls learned to say and were able to use properly by the time they turned one. Table manners can be taught as soon as they learn to feed themselves, but the instruction starts long before that stage as they observe our every move. A few at the top of my lists are making sure they chew with their mouths closed, blessing our food before eating, and not talking with their mouth full.

Besides table manners, I also try to teach my girls to wait their turn when playing with others. This is still a work in progress as my oldest gets antsy when it’s time to slide, but gentle correction every time will eventually do the trick!

2. Teach them when to apologize

This may not seem like such a big deal at a young age, but it will be before you know it. My girls have to apologize to each other several times a day for fighting over toys, accidentally kicking sister in the head, and the list goes on. My husband started a trend of having the girls hug and make up once they apologize to each other. It’s so cute to watch, especially when they do it on their own when they don’t know we’re watching. On the other hand, I also want my girls to know that it is not okay to apologize for who they are or when they really don’t mean it. This will become more relevant as they get older. I think “sorry” becomes overrated when we use it loosely and our apology isn’t genuine. True character can be found in our ability to be real and show empathy towards others.

3. Compliment their physical & mental attributes

So many children grow up to be insecure adults, particularly little girls with low self-esteem. This is why it’s so important to build them up by complimenting their outer appearance, and more importantly their inner being. We tell our girls how pretty their hair is, how nice their teeth are, how kind they are to others, how brave they are, and so much more. If we bury the belief deep in their hearts as children, it will be hard for the world to convince them otherwise.

4. Pray with them

You can pray with your little ones before bed, in the morning, or whenever you feel the need to. I started with the simple “Now I Lay Me” when my oldest was about 18 months. Surprisingly, a few weeks after hearing me pray, my daughter caught on and joined in with a few words at a time until she could recite it all. Once she got that down pat, months later I introduced praying for others. It is the sweetest thing to hear children praying from such a pure, innocent perspective. My other two girls joined big sister’s lead, and they began joining us in prayer as soon as they could form the words.

One of the most important things I teach my girls is to pray for themselves and each other. When they don’t feel well, if they’re sad, hurt, I encourage them to pray to God for help. I can’t think of a greater way to build character than to seek the One who made the ultimate sacrifice for us.

5. Recite affirmations with them

Our words have power, and that is something I want my girls to know from an early age. This goes for both the good and bad thoughts that come out of our mouths. Start them off young speaking positivity over every area of their lives. A few of our favorites are; “I can do anything, I am beautiful inside and out, I am strong, I am smart, I am creative”. My husband really started doing this with my girls and whenever they get discouraged he reminds them through these affirmations that they can do anything. Now they recite it themselves when they’re frustrated instead of giving up and crying for us to help. What we pour into these precious little ones is what will come out as a direct reflection of their character. Feed them encouragement, and all the love you can give.

6. Set the tone for sibling relationships

It is so important to me for my girls to have a good relationship and an unbreakable bond. There is a lot of competition and comparison between siblings that leads to strained relationships as they get older. It is important for us as parents to make sure we are not creating a breeding ground for these issues. I tell my girls all the time that your sister is your best friend and I encourage them to treat each other kind and with respect. Every child has different strengths, weaknesses, personality traits, and physical attributes that can cause them to either be insecure or confident in who they are. It all depends on the identity they adopt while under our leadership. Maci knew all her colors, letters, and could count to ten before she was two years old. Malia is almost three now and still struggles with getting her colors straight. I have to admit it was a bit discouraging to me at first because I felt like I had done something wrong. I thought maybe I didn’t work with her enough because I had less time with two kids than I did with one. However, I came to terms with the fact they will never be the same, and that is okay. Maci learns by listening, Malia learns by doing. As long as we are doing our best as parents, we shouldn’t beat ourselves up, or our children for that matter when things aren’t going as we think they should.

7. Show kindness

From an early age, I’ve always incorporated acts of kindness toward others with my girls. I want them to know that we are here to show the love of God, and life is not all about pleasing ourselves. A few ways I get them involved is by making homemade cards for others, handing out goodies at the nursing home, simply speaking to others and asking how they’re doing. There’s so much more you can do with young children to show kindness. Get creative and have fun with it!  It costs nothing to be kind, but to someone on the receiving end, it could mean the world.

Most of these behaviors are likely already a part of your daily life, sometimes we just have to be a little more intentional about staying consistent. They key is to share these tools with your children even if you feel it’s too soon to start. I have seen the benefit of teaching my girls character even before they can walk or talk. My oldest is four and my youngest is one, and they each participate in their own way. Once they’re old enough to really verbalize all the goodness you’ve poured into them, it will blow your mind! No matter what age your little ones are, begin shaping their character today with these seven easy steps.